I should back up: I love my cat.
Not like “O, yeah, she a cat and she’s kinda cool.” No, I love my cat. We met in Fall 2006 when I was a sophomore in college. I was a mess, spending most evenings outside my apartment trying not to be alone, so I decided that a pet might do something to change that.
Callie was advertised on a bulletin board at my local grocery store – “Cat had kittens, free to a good home.” I took the number, but waited about a month to call, not at all convinced I wanted a cat. A dog, maybe, but a cat?
When I finally called, they had two kittens left, a boy and a girl. So I show up at this old farmhouse where a man opens a the door and there’s a little 5-year-old holding a fuzzy ball. The child thrusts it out at me and exclaims, very proudly, “Pickles!”
I took Pickles and it was love. She snuggled up to me and off we went in my tan pickup truck, headed straight to the store to get litter and food and everything else you need when you decide on a whim to adopt a kitten you thought you were only going to look at.
Since Pickles was (is) a Calico, I changed her name to Callie – and then began to spend every, single, waking minute with her. I slept on the floor with her when she had surgery and couldn’t hop on my bed, I carry her around, I sing to her, she follows me like a puppy. In short we’re kind of obsessed with each other.
Only one problem – Marianne is not obsessed with Callie.
And Callie just kind of puts up with her as this thing that invaded our space after three years of “You and Me Against the World.” Make no bones about it, Callie has not forgiven me.
So I figure it’s only right to include Callie in our wedding ceremony as sort of a “good will gesture.” I’m not crazy, apparently it’s the new trend.
Marianne and I talked about it and her answer is no.
I even compromised and said Callie would only be invited to the small ceremony where we exchange our rings, that way she won’t embarrass us (or herself) when she goes running after a squirrel or a speck of dust. She could be the ring bearer. We’ll tie the pillow around her neck a la Jinxy from Meet the Parents. What could go wrong?
Absolutely nothin’. That’s what.
Seriously…Marianne’s saying ‘NO’ to this?