The ins and the outs and the ups and the downs and can I go to bed now?

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It’s 9pm.

And I just got home from an Interfaith Voice meeting where we spent one and half hours getting ready for both an interfaith service and a rally against Amendment One.

After I had just spent all day at work. Where I was highly productive and even pretty much started over on a project I thought was finished.

I didn’t swim this morning because snuggling with Marianne seemed like a much better idea than crawling out of bed at 0450 and jumping in a cold pool.

And last night I spoke in front of the Winston-Salem City Council to try and urge them to support a resolution against Amendment One. Which they didn’t because it never even made it on to the formal agenda because one council member felt he had been blindsided by the addition (even though the local paper printed a story about it in the late morning and the meeting didn’t start till 7 pm but whatevs).

My point is, I’m busy.

It’s all stuff I want to be doing, especially the stuff surrounding Amendment One because regardless of what I want Marianne and my relationship to be called, this amendment would invalidate it. From now until forever (or at least for 20 years says the man who wrote the Amendment – because that’s apparently how long it will take the “younger generation” to repeal it.)

I was driving home tonight and popped in the Ellis Delaney  CD “Right on Time” and suddenly everything made sense. The song “Right Now” is pretty much perfect:

Something I’ve finally come to realize/Everyone has to compromise/We can’t do it all at the same time/It just doesn’t work

I do this sometimes, I get so caught up in what’s going around me that I forget to breathe and by the time I look up I’m curled in a ball rocking slowly back and forth hoping the world will fix itself. Luckily, Ellis has more sage words of advice in that same song:

It is love that will carry you home/It is kindness that holds back the storms around you/It is patience sitting right beside the doubt/The only truth is what we do/With right now

So right now I am tired. I think she means “what you do with right now” in the broader sense, but right now *I* am tired. And am going to hopefully finish the wonderful book I’m reading.

Totally kidding about the wonderful book part

It’s actually not a wonderful book at all – it’s pretty awful in fact. But it’s one of the only fiction books that features lesbian main characters that the local used bookstore had. So I bought it. And kind of wish I hadn’t spent $3 on it. But I did and it’s a train wreck that I can’t really tear my eyes away from.

Short synopsis: Hardened by years in the sun Texas cowgirl/rancher type has to rescue her cows from her crazy neighbor’s farm. She finds out the neighbor has a daughter in San Antonio and goes to see the daughter about putting the old man in a home.

Hardened Texas cowgirl/rancher head’s to San Antonio intending to spend the night and has an altercation with a artsy-fartsy, totally-not-her-type woman in (apparently) the only gay bar in San Antonio. The next day, hardened Texas rancher/cowgirl knocks on crazy neighbor’s daughter’s door and (surprise surprise) it’s the artsy-fartsy totally-not-her-type woman from the bar. They take an immediate disliking to each other but artsy-fartsy totally-not-her-type woman agrees to check in on her father.

On the way home, hardened Texas cowgirl/rancher gets in an accident where her trailer rolls over on her and breaks both her legs. She’s in a cast for at least three months. At the same time, artsy-fartsy, totally-not-her-type woman ends up in her father’s home town to put him in a home and see to his affairs. Turns out he’s up to his ears in debt and she can’t pay because she’s a freelance artist who makes no money.

While stuck in the hospital, hardened Texas cowgirl/rancher learns the only way out of the hospital is to hire a Certified Nursing Assistant to care for her at home. At the courthouse, artsy-fartsy, totally-not-her-type woman overhears a conversation about someone who needs a CNA and (surprise surprise) it turns out she has a CNA license from when her mom was dying and wanted to stay at home as long as possible (What a coincidence!).

Artsy-fartsy, totally-not-her-type woman shows up at the hospital to introduce herself to her new patient which (surprise surprise) turns out to be the hardened Texas cowgirl/rancher (No WAY!). They decide it is in both their mutual interests to make the arrangement work (hey, it’s just for the summer, right?) and things speed awkwardly down the awful storyline track from there.

I’m at the point that they’ve finally stopped fighting and (surprise surprise!) hardened Texas cowgirl/rancher figures out that artsy-fartsy, totally-not-her-type woman might just be her type after all.

I have to admit, I have no idea what’s coming next.

If you’ve read this book, please o please don’t tell me the ending! Maybe I’ll finish it before I go to bed! O, the suspense!!!

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