Doggone it Mary Sunshine!

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Doggone it Mary Sunshine!

I’m currently sitting in my house not feeling well at all (sorry Green Street Clean-Up Day!) having an internal battle with myself centered around Wants versus Needs.

As a modern brides who haven’t lived with our parents in 10 (me) and 12 (Marianne) years, suffice it to say we’re having to pay for a large chunk of the wedding ourselves. Which is fine, really, because it allows us to do what we want how we want.

But then there’s the whole “HolyCowWeCan’tAffordThat!” piece to it. And I have to decide between wants and needs.

I’ve already explained how becoming a mob boss will be helpful for the next seven months but beyond that, I just have to reign in my expectations as well.

I’m usually pretty good at it because I’ve never been much of a girly girl, but sometimes I want this:

I want this - but without the lean

instead of the smaller cake we can actually afford. (Although who’s to say the smaller cake won’t taste better?)

And the reception venue. Granted I can’t dance, I am a white girl who spent 12 years at Catholic school after all, but I still sort of have dreams of a reception at this place:

Winmock at Kinderton in Advance, NC - It's an old barn converted into wedding, reception and meeting space and it's gorgeous!

where there would be food and music and dancing and ridiculousness. Instead of in the Green Street reception space.

I will say that I’ve already gotten more than I’ve dreamed of in some areas.

Like we have a wedding planner and Michael is seriously awesome. Who knew that a wedding planner might actually be affordable? AND because the cost for everything he’s doing for us (like flowers, decor and day-of behind-the-scenes work) is built in, it actually takes some of the money we budgeted and shifts it rather than adds to the total price.

And I got my dress – thanks mom! – from David’s Bridal and since they partner with the Men’s Warehouse that means not only can Marianne get her tux for some percent off BUT she can match the color of her vest or tie to the red in my dress! Rock on! And since she can rent it, it’s a heck of a lot cheaper than actually buying it.

Doggone it Mary Sunshine! Go away! I just want to wallow in my "I can't afford it" pity party for a minute.

Too bad for me, I have the inability to stay down for long. The Mary Sunshine in me lives and I can’t help it.

I’m frustrated with the wedding planning (or lack there of that this particular moment) and our inability to afford everything I want, but Marianne and I will work it out. And it’ll be perfect…or something close to that. In the end I’m just extremely excited to celebrate our day (two days really if you count the night we say our vows for the first time) with friends and family who love us and want to be there for us.

And who knows, maybe I will break out the “Catholic School white-girl dance moves” just one more time!

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7 responses »

  1. Beautifully written my little Mary sunshine
    .wish I had saved $ for your dream wedding but I’m also not big on lavish weddings
    Would rather spend extra $ on almost anything else. I’m sure you and Marianne will make a beautiful and memorable event. Love you, mom.

      • Yeah, my mom’s pretty amazing. I actually met my partner during the 5-day women’s music festival my mom attended with me in 2007. It never occurred to my mom to be less than supportive of me and she didn’t really understand why it was such a huge deal that she had come with me or why all these other older lesbians also thought she was the greatest. 🙂

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