Saying “We Don’t” to the “WE DO” campaign

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We Do Campaign, created by the Campaign for Southern Equality

So the WE DO campaign, created by the Campaign for Southern Equality, is marching through North Carolina May 9 though 11.

And Marianne and I have the opportunity to participate.

In their own words:

The WE DO Campaign involves LGBT couples in Southern communities requesting – and being denied – marriage licenses in order to call for full equality under federal law and to resist unjust state laws.

We talked it over and decided that it’s just not for us. Not because we don’t believe in the cause, although I don’t know that I do yet, but because we don’t have the energy.

Mary, one of my friends very involved in the local Equality Winston-Salem group, was the one who originally suggested it to us. Apparently she and her partner participated in an earlier action and for her it was empowering.

For me, personally, not so much.

These last two weeks have been emotionally draining because we found out, without knowing the answer before we asked, that our wedding was not as accepted as we thought it had been. Even going all the way back to when Marianne first asked me to marry her last May and Kelly told us he could not do that without risking his job and putting the church in danger, we understood that things were not equal.

I can’t imagine what it would feel like to ask for a marriage license knowing that we’re going to be denied…and I don’t really want to find out.

I found out through real experience that North Carolina doesn’t like gay folks or gay marriage, I don’t need to compound that understanding through asking for something I know will be denied. That’s called insult to injury.

If others want to participate in the Winston action happening May 9, more power to them, if I can get the day off I may even come out in support.

Maybe we’ll participate at a later date but for now, we’re just tired.

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3 responses »

  1. I’m sorry to hear that but totally understand. Many of our friends have faced these same problems. Our solution or rather these’s as we have not done ours yet, is to have a nice ceremony her but go to DC to get “married”. In DC, you are not denied a wedding nor are you denied getting a marriage license. It is all very sad that we as Christians are taught not to judge one another yet are the first to do just that. I wish you and Marianne all the happiness!!!

    • Thanks Mary. The only issue I have with going somewhere to get married is that it doesn’t mean anything when we come back to North Carolina. We’re still denied rights, made to feel like second class citizens and looked at funny when we ask for a single queen bed when we vacation. So, to me anyway, there’s no sense in having a “destination wedding” so-to-speak when the legality of it all won’t mean anything where I live.

  2. Pingback: “It’s not the timing of the market… « Poems, Prayers, Promises & Politics

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