Currently my cat is in the process of shoving herself completely under the couch… and I want to go too! Somehow my email got attached to some Super-Secret Squirrel List that says “O Look! There’s someone getting married! Ready…SPAM!” and I just want to hide.
My guess it was the knot.com (who promised they wouldn’t sell my information by the way – but I guess if they just give it away that’s different?)
Anyway, I’ve been getting an overabundance of emails which are easy to ignore but today I cam home and found a black envelope with my address hand written on the front and the name of the company – In His Service Productions, LLC.
The inside contents were pretty (and pretty standard) – the white woman in a white dress, the white man in a black tux, Jesus crosses on every page. I have no plans to call them (“schedule an engagement session and get 200 save the date cards free!”) because I already have a wedding photographer (shameless plug for Tara Lee who was/is wonderful, she did our engagement photos too), but I still think it was nice of them to think of me.
Except that they probably didn’t.
See, this is where my faith and my sexual orientation collide.
I’ve never had an issue reconciling my being a lesbian and my being Christian. It is what it is, God loves just the same as God did before I knew I was a lesbian (because let’s not pretend God didn’t know the whole time) and the world continues to evolve.
But for some folks, it doesn’t even register that there might be such a thing as a gay or lesbian Christian. I’m sure the folks from In His Service Productions, LLC are nice enough, but I can almost guarantee it didn’t even occur to them that I might be planning a same-gender wedding when they sent out their mailer.
I think it’s time for all the gay Christians to stand up and claim their place within the Christian community of which they’re already a part. So often it’s the gay Christians speaking to the gay community about reconciling their faith and sexual orientation but not speaking honestly enough to their own Christian community about their lives.
Words have power and so to say to the church community to which you already belong that “I’m a lesbian, and a Christian, and I’m not going anywhere because two pieces of me are not incompatible, and o, by the way this is my [partner/gf/bf/not ‘best friend’] and I’m going to serve on your boards and sing in your choir and volunteer in your nursery and be a big part of your community” is huge.
That’s one of the reasons Marianne and I are choosing to get married at Green Street by Rev. Kelly. We know this community, we live in this community, but sometimes I don’t think our community get it. Sometimes it seems that the cool “liberal” thing to do is accept people who are different from us. But there are real same-gender couples, who really belong to this church and who really want to get married. It’s fun to say we’re multicultural and all-accepting, but are we?
I’m not meaning to be hard on our community, Lord knows Green Street is one amazing place, I just think it’s time to put our faith (and our reconciling stance) into action.