I have had friends get married in the past (duh) and they have almost all used the wedding site The Knot. If you’ve never seen it, it’s basically a one-stop-wedding-planning shop. They’ve got wedding planning tips, tools and timelines and you can even make a custom wedding site to let folks know all about your big day.
I had resisted even looking at the site because I knew it was going to be filled with all sorts of heteronormative, white dress and black tux, traditional sign-up-for-our-site-and-we’ll-send-you-all-sorts-of-exclusive-offers type stuff but a co-worker of mine suggested it and I finally gave in to peer pressure.
I wasn’t totally wrong about my assumptions…
but against my better judgement I created an account. After all, I’m good at looking past straight bias, I do it a million times every day.
The first thing you have to enter is information about the wedding party. I was expecting to get stopped right there because I figured they’d only have the option for one bride and one groom. Kudos to them, they allowed me to enter both myself and Marianne as a couple.
Cool, moving on.
The next step is to create a profile page by telling them about yourself, presumably so they can customize (ie. send you more coupons for) your wedding. I checked all the boxes:
- Style: offbeat (check), eco-friendly (check);
- Colors: brown, red, gold, orange and yellow (check, check, check, check and check);
- Other: Christian/Protestant (check), same-sex (wait just a cotton pickin’ minute!)
I am not an other! (Nor is my wedding just about sex, but that’s a different rant)
Can I just say for the record that I don’t think African-American, Asians, South Asians or Latinos want to be considered “other” either. And what the heck does the “getting in shape” category mean? Is there a right shape a woman (presumably) must be in to get married? I’m sorry, I didn’t know.
I guess The Knot is trying to be friendly to all, but by featuring only white, straight couples they undermine their own message.
It’s kind of like saying “I’m not racist! I’ve got 4 black friends!” If you can count a certain type of friend on one hand, you best not be bragging about it.
Same goes for The Knot. If you’re going to allow me to create a same-gender wedding Web site, then for goodness sake, don’t make me an “other” on my own profile page.